For The One: Who Feels Behind

For the One: Who Feels Behind

“Why have I not accomplished this yet?” “Why am I not at that stage of life yet?” “How do they already have it all together?” “Why do they get to experience that at their age but I’m not yet?”

Sometimes, it’s hard to be a dreamer. If you’re anything like me, you may have some massive dreams, but can get defeated when they haven’t come to pass yet. Sometimes, seeing other people doing the things you want to do can cause you to feel behind in life. Sometimes, we can get so wrapped up in our timeline of things, that we get disheartened when they take longer to happen than we thought they should.

I don’t know about you, but at times scrolling through social media can also greatly defeat me. I scroll and see so many people doing, accomplishing, and having the things I want in life and it absolutely robs me from the season I’m in. I start questioning what I’m doing with my life and why I haven’t accomplished more yet? 

This is something the enemy uses to trap me in discontentment. And I have wrestled with frequently. You see, I haven’t necessarily followed the “normal” path in life (but who defines normal anyway?). I went to college, but then I left halfway through to do a yearlong mission trip. Then I came home, finished college online, and became a nanny. I got my degree, but stayed a nanny so that I could focus on doing ministry. I recently turned 26 and the nagging thought keeps running through my mind “What am I doing with my life?”. Because I haven’t done things everyone else’s way, I feel behind. I’m not building a normal career, I’m not financially flourishing, I’m not married yet, I’m not a mom yet. Meanwhile, everyone around me is getting married, having kids, building careers, buying homes, etc. That is all I see every time I get on social media which just fuels the discontentment and insecurity of where I’m at in life. 

What’s crazy is, if you know me or follow me, you may never have guessed I have felt this way at all. What you see when you scroll on my social media is: a girl passionately following her dreams, launching a ministry, building a school overseas, in a God-sent relationship, and has family and friends who love her. Because those are the things I post about. No one shares the negative side of life on social media because it’s scary, it’s vulnerable, it may even be humiliating. But there is always a flipside to every coin.

Now this is not a typical post on overcoming comparison with others or demonizing social media. For months I have wanted to delete social media for good, but at the same time it is a useful tool to use for the kingdom, but of course, the enemy would want to steal the fruit before it’s even born. 

What I want to share is what God has spoken to me as I bring these thoughts and feelings to Him. It’s important to always bring everything to Him so He can speak truth into our hearts and free us from any lies that may be leading us. What I didn’t realize is that buying into the idea that I’m behind in life was actually being fueled by the lies of discontentment, comparison, and control. The enemy was sneaking in these lies that were robbing me of seeing the beauty of the season I’m in. When I brought this concern of being behind to the Lord this is what He said:

“Daughter, how can you be behind if you got here by following me every step of the way? Sure, you may not have everything you would’ve wanted by now, but who said you were supposed to have already attained those things? Who determined at what age is the right age to be married or become a mom? Who said at what age you had to buy a house or have a career? Who determined that? Because it wasn’t me. So if I don’t think you’re behind, and I’m the one who led you to this season of life, are you saying you think I’m wrong or I’m behind? Or are you now realizing that sometimes your timeline doesn’t add up with mine? What I want you to see is that there are kids who need your love right now, and they wouldn’t be able to receive the full capacity of your love if you had your own kids already. If you already owned a house, perhaps you wouldn’t have the availability to travel as frequently for missions. If you were married already, wouldn’t it be more stressful to be building a family as well as building a ministry at the same time? My timing and my ways are perfect. And waiting for these things don’t just benefit you, but others around you. So trust me. You’re right on time.”

These words from the Father obviously speak for themself, but what I realized is that sometimes, when we get so fixated on our timeline or our way of doing things, we miss the reasons God has us where we are. If we are so focused on what we don’t have, we will miss the beauty of all the things we do have.

I want to encourage you today, if you feel behind, to trust that our loving Father has led you to where you are, at this exact point in time, on purpose. Don’t despise small beginnings. Not one single empire was built in a day, even God took 7 days to build the world. Ask Him to show you the beauty of the season you are in. Find the joy of being where you’ve been called by asking Him for His perspective. Worship Him for what you already have. Don’t dwell on what’s missing. My challenge for you this week is: for every disappointment you have, find five things to be grateful for! 

And definitely do not buy into the lie that you’re behind. When the Father is leading you, He’s always right on time (so you’ll always be too). ♡

This week’s memory verses:

Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

    do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do,

    and he will show you which path to take.”

Isaiah 60:22b NLT

“At the right time, I, the LORD, will make it happen.”

Love,

Ashley

FTO Co-founder